Why do I search for meaning?

Lately I find myself looking for the meaning in everything. Maybe it is because I am going through a phase of my life where I am supposed to be critically analyzing everything. However, I don't feel that is why. Ultimately, I belive I am searching for purpose of my life. I have always been known as the Queen of Why. When I was little, well I guess not just little, but younger, I would always ask why. If someone asked me to do something or told me something, I would no doubt ask why. Curiosity...it controlled me. Or at least I thought it did. Now I am not so sure. I wonder if it was more than just curiosity. I wonder if it wasn't just a longing for meaning.

Everything in this world has meaning, even if it is hidden. Some people just don't care to know or even discover the meaning to the things in their life. I, on the other hand, search for the meaning in everything. I think this is also where my disappointment comes from. I get upset or stressed when I can't figure out the meaning, I shut down. Some people like not knowing, some people like the mystery...I, however, am NOT one of those people.

I believe that is why I like, and prefer, having deep conversations with people. Because through those conversations you get to know the person. You discover their meaning. I get concerned with sketchy people because you don't know their meaning. And not knowing, or at least having an idea of a person's meaning, causes me unease.

Do you ever search for meaning? When analyzing life, where are you? Is there a specific spot that calms you? I know there is for me. Think about it. What is yours?