Christmastime, the season for giving. During this time of year, everyone is out shopping for gifts to give to their loved ones. People stress out over finding the perfect gift to give to each person. And then we all get excited about what we find under the tree. But the real gift comes from watching your loved ones open up that special hand-picked gift you got for them.
Although giving gifts to my family is fun, and I get a warm feeling inside when they open them, for me, I get more out of giving to those that are in greater need than myself, or even my family. I find that to give me a satsifying feeling. My family usually fills Letters to Santa through the high school and knowing that children that normally wouldn't be recieveing gifts are going to be getting a gift this Christmas is what brings me the greatest joy.
I love this season! I could do without the snow (except on Christmas day), but I love the holiday! Thankfullness. Hope. Joy. Giving. And in turn, LOVE!!! Merry Christmas!!!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Joy
I do not know if there is a greater emotion than pure joy. And at the same time, I do not believe that pure joy lasts long. Instead it comes in spirts. It swoops in, overtakes our body, and then quickly leaves. Yet in those moments, when pure joy can be felt, it is overwhelming; it is breathtaking. I feel that as we get older, those moments of pure joy deplete, because we our image of the world get clouded. There is always outside factors that take away from our ability to experience that feeling. What I believe is so fantastic about the Christmas season is that it allows everyone to step out of their own life, if only for a moment, and be a child again. And in doing so, we again get to experience the feeling of pure joy, as children so often do. This is what I look most foreward to, during this season. The magic and the joy that comes along. My hope for this Christmas is that we all get to experience pure joy, as children do. Or for those that have children, that watching your children experience pure joy, brings you pure joy as well. God Bless!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Hope
Hope...a glorious feeling it can be. Often times around this time of year, it is the story of Jesus and his birth that bring hope to the world. Although this is still true, for me, hope is also taking a new meaning. As I have shared this past year has not been a fantastic one, and I am definately ready for it to be over. And to top it all off, my mom and brother got in a car accident today. Just the cherry on top of an already horrible year. They are both completely fine, but I find myself mad, furious really, for the situation. I know everything happens for a reason, that everything is in God's plan for our life. So in this season, I find myself relying on hope...for the future. Hope that God will show me the lesson, will make me aware of the reason for why everything this year has gone awry. It is my hope that next year will be a better one, God willing. Or even in the case that it is not, it is my hope that God will use my experiences to better those around me and to make a difference in this world, or at least in the lives of others.
Thankfulness
The Christmas season is upon us, with Christmas just around the corner. I am in awe of how quickly it arrived. Labored it was, but it is here, faster than I could have imagined. With this time of year comes a state of mind, at least for me, of giving, hope, joy, and thankfulness. Obviously this state of mind has had me questioning myself alot recently, especially tonight. The next few posts I would like to center around these four characteristics for I feel they hold much importance, not only to the season, but in life. I will begin with thankfulness, for it has been on my heart tonight.
In September, or maybe it was October, I wrote a piece (not on here) about being ready for the year to be over. I was done with 2010. I did not know how I was going to make it through the months still ahead. By September, I had already endured a transfer of schools, a horrible semester with a frustrating professor, the unexpected death of my aunt, a couple of interesting family trips, an eventful week with one of my best friends which almost had me being admitted to the hospital, the death of my cousin, a horrendous two weeks of being terribly sick, the start of a new semester of classes, and at the time I was starting to get sick again. I have never been as emotionally unpredictable in my life, as I have been in the last year. God has pressed me to my wicks end many times. I am not going to say that I enjoyed this year and that I would want to do it over again, but I will say that I grew immensely in many different ways. These experiences have strengthened and deepened my relationship with God; they have provided me with a greater knowledge about the field I am going into; and they have taught be how to be more proactive in my own life. For that I am thankful.
I am also eternally greatful and thankful for my mom. There is no way I could ever repay her for everything she has done for me in my life. She is the reason I am still living today! Some know, many do not, but during my junior year of high school I dealt with a severe bout of depression. I doubted everything that had to do with God (though I was pretty good at hiding it) and I often felt like suidcide was a viable option. It was only my mom's strength and dedication to getting me through the rough patch that saved my life. She sat down with me every single day, without fail, to talk, to make sure I was okay. Words cannot ever express how greatful I am for her love and strength.
So, in this season of good cheer, that I what I am most thankful for.
In September, or maybe it was October, I wrote a piece (not on here) about being ready for the year to be over. I was done with 2010. I did not know how I was going to make it through the months still ahead. By September, I had already endured a transfer of schools, a horrible semester with a frustrating professor, the unexpected death of my aunt, a couple of interesting family trips, an eventful week with one of my best friends which almost had me being admitted to the hospital, the death of my cousin, a horrendous two weeks of being terribly sick, the start of a new semester of classes, and at the time I was starting to get sick again. I have never been as emotionally unpredictable in my life, as I have been in the last year. God has pressed me to my wicks end many times. I am not going to say that I enjoyed this year and that I would want to do it over again, but I will say that I grew immensely in many different ways. These experiences have strengthened and deepened my relationship with God; they have provided me with a greater knowledge about the field I am going into; and they have taught be how to be more proactive in my own life. For that I am thankful.
I am also eternally greatful and thankful for my mom. There is no way I could ever repay her for everything she has done for me in my life. She is the reason I am still living today! Some know, many do not, but during my junior year of high school I dealt with a severe bout of depression. I doubted everything that had to do with God (though I was pretty good at hiding it) and I often felt like suidcide was a viable option. It was only my mom's strength and dedication to getting me through the rough patch that saved my life. She sat down with me every single day, without fail, to talk, to make sure I was okay. Words cannot ever express how greatful I am for her love and strength.
So, in this season of good cheer, that I what I am most thankful for.
My momma and me
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Why do I search for meaning?
Lately I find myself looking for the meaning in everything. Maybe it is because I am going through a phase of my life where I am supposed to be critically analyzing everything. However, I don't feel that is why. Ultimately, I belive I am searching for purpose of my life. I have always been known as the Queen of Why. When I was little, well I guess not just little, but younger, I would always ask why. If someone asked me to do something or told me something, I would no doubt ask why. Curiosity...it controlled me. Or at least I thought it did. Now I am not so sure. I wonder if it was more than just curiosity. I wonder if it wasn't just a longing for meaning.
Everything in this world has meaning, even if it is hidden. Some people just don't care to know or even discover the meaning to the things in their life. I, on the other hand, search for the meaning in everything. I think this is also where my disappointment comes from. I get upset or stressed when I can't figure out the meaning, I shut down. Some people like not knowing, some people like the mystery...I, however, am NOT one of those people.
I believe that is why I like, and prefer, having deep conversations with people. Because through those conversations you get to know the person. You discover their meaning. I get concerned with sketchy people because you don't know their meaning. And not knowing, or at least having an idea of a person's meaning, causes me unease.
Do you ever search for meaning? When analyzing life, where are you? Is there a specific spot that calms you? I know there is for me. Think about it. What is yours?
Everything in this world has meaning, even if it is hidden. Some people just don't care to know or even discover the meaning to the things in their life. I, on the other hand, search for the meaning in everything. I think this is also where my disappointment comes from. I get upset or stressed when I can't figure out the meaning, I shut down. Some people like not knowing, some people like the mystery...I, however, am NOT one of those people.
I believe that is why I like, and prefer, having deep conversations with people. Because through those conversations you get to know the person. You discover their meaning. I get concerned with sketchy people because you don't know their meaning. And not knowing, or at least having an idea of a person's meaning, causes me unease.
Do you ever search for meaning? When analyzing life, where are you? Is there a specific spot that calms you? I know there is for me. Think about it. What is yours?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Death. What is the lesson?
I've been thinking about death a lot recently. Morbid...I know. Well, at least slightly. The thoughts are more so in regards to why death seems to be an ever constant theme in my life. What is God wanting to teach me? This question being the root of my processing. I cannot figure it out for the life of me. Why, at only 21 years old, have I had to deal with so much death? I understand that I will always deal with death, I get that it is a part of life; everyone is born and everyone dies. However, why does it feel like the people around me are dropping like flies?
Why God? What is the purpose? What am I supposed to learn? Can you enlighten me sometime soon?
I seriously feel like I am not going to be able to take the pain much longer. I need a break...and a long enough one to heal from the years of pain I have already endured.
Death. The concept overall is exciting! Who doesn't want to spend eternity with the creator, Father, the one being that loves endlessly and regardless of any faults? In a twisted way, it is something we all look foreward to, yet fear at the same time.
Death. Please explain your lesson Lord, I would really like to apply it to my life!
Why God? What is the purpose? What am I supposed to learn? Can you enlighten me sometime soon?
I seriously feel like I am not going to be able to take the pain much longer. I need a break...and a long enough one to heal from the years of pain I have already endured.
Death. The concept overall is exciting! Who doesn't want to spend eternity with the creator, Father, the one being that loves endlessly and regardless of any faults? In a twisted way, it is something we all look foreward to, yet fear at the same time.
Death. Please explain your lesson Lord, I would really like to apply it to my life!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Life is Short...Love Yourself!
Recently I have been doing alot of thinking. Yes, I know, we all think, all the time. But I am not just talking about any general sort of thinking. I have really been thinking, deep thinking, not only about how I view myself, but the world around me. It is truly amazing what one can discover when they take the time to think. You meet yourself, on a whole differernt level than you ever thought possible. And you know what I have realized? I love me! I don't mean that in a conceded way, but I love who I am, I couldn't be happier, with me! I am a kind and caring person who loves the Lord with all of my heart. I am understanding of those different from me, and I love everyone regardless of how awfully they may treat me. I love knowing people to the depths of their core, becaues the soul of a person shows their uniqueness, the soul of a person is what truly makes them beautiful!
In no way am I trying to say that I am perfect, because I am not perfect, no one is. I have my struggles and my insecurities, however, if I am not accepting of the person I am, I don't know how anyone else is ever going to be accepting of me. I have battled depression for a good part of my life and although I know I will continue to deal with that struggle within myself, I need these moments, the ones that I am not beating myself up. I need them to remind me in my moments of darkness that I am a person worth knowing, I am a person worth loveing, I am a person who has a purpose for living!
It is my opinion that the world has some pretty messed up standards or ideals of how women are supposed to be. I don't think there are many woment out there who believe that they meet the standards this world has set, myself included. However, over the course of the last few days, I have realized that although I will never meet them, just being me is okay too. This all goes back to that issue of trust in God that I have talked a lot about. I need to trust that God made me the way I am for a purpose, regardless of whether the world believes that I live up to a list of ideals. In a little book I keep at my desk called Believe in Yourself, there is a quote that says "Self-acceptance gives you the much-needed energy and freedom to grow". I have never believed that more, than what I do right at this very moment. I am beginning to flourish, just from finally deciding that I love me!
As a final note, I wanted to share a couple of posters that I keep hung up in my room. I found them both at a Christian bookstore and I love them! The one is about belief systems and the other about being yourself.
The first says:
I believe life is more than survival.
I believe the heart is more than a muscle.
I believe we can know right from wrong.
I believe in hope and freedom.
I believe my life can make a difference.
I believe the message of the cross.
What do you believe?
I would like to challenge you in just that...what do you believe? Not only what is your belief system, but do you believe in yourself? Do you love yourself?
The second says:
I'm not a perfect girl.
My hair doesn't always stay in place
I spill things a lot
I'm pretty clumsy
Sometimes I have a broken heart
My friends and I sometimes fight
Maybe some days nothin' goes right
But when I think about it & take a step back
I remember how AMAZING life truly is
And through all my imperfections...
GOD STILL LOVES ME
No one is perfect! But we all need to learn to love the person that we are!
I and Love and You,
Diana
In no way am I trying to say that I am perfect, because I am not perfect, no one is. I have my struggles and my insecurities, however, if I am not accepting of the person I am, I don't know how anyone else is ever going to be accepting of me. I have battled depression for a good part of my life and although I know I will continue to deal with that struggle within myself, I need these moments, the ones that I am not beating myself up. I need them to remind me in my moments of darkness that I am a person worth knowing, I am a person worth loveing, I am a person who has a purpose for living!
It is my opinion that the world has some pretty messed up standards or ideals of how women are supposed to be. I don't think there are many woment out there who believe that they meet the standards this world has set, myself included. However, over the course of the last few days, I have realized that although I will never meet them, just being me is okay too. This all goes back to that issue of trust in God that I have talked a lot about. I need to trust that God made me the way I am for a purpose, regardless of whether the world believes that I live up to a list of ideals. In a little book I keep at my desk called Believe in Yourself, there is a quote that says "Self-acceptance gives you the much-needed energy and freedom to grow". I have never believed that more, than what I do right at this very moment. I am beginning to flourish, just from finally deciding that I love me!
As a final note, I wanted to share a couple of posters that I keep hung up in my room. I found them both at a Christian bookstore and I love them! The one is about belief systems and the other about being yourself.
The first says:
I believe life is more than survival.
I believe the heart is more than a muscle.
I believe we can know right from wrong.
I believe in hope and freedom.
I believe my life can make a difference.
I believe the message of the cross.
What do you believe?
I would like to challenge you in just that...what do you believe? Not only what is your belief system, but do you believe in yourself? Do you love yourself?
The second says:
I'm not a perfect girl.
My hair doesn't always stay in place
I spill things a lot
I'm pretty clumsy
Sometimes I have a broken heart
My friends and I sometimes fight
Maybe some days nothin' goes right
But when I think about it & take a step back
I remember how AMAZING life truly is
And through all my imperfections...
GOD STILL LOVES ME
No one is perfect! But we all need to learn to love the person that we are!
I and Love and You,
Diana
Monday, July 19, 2010
It has been awhile...
My oh my...is it seriously July already? I can't believe it! Time really does fly by! This is also made blatantly apparent by my lack of posting in a few months. Alot has happened since I last posted. As most of you know, my aunt passed away on April 29. I spent alot of time in the hospital with my family the week she was there. My aunt had an incredible passion for the Lord that was truly inspiring. I know for a fact that she is having a blast hanging out with God up in Heaven and I am excited for the day that I get to join them.
I must be honest for a minute. Although I have no doubts of where my aunt is and how much fun she is having, I must admit that her death emplodes a part of me I don't fancy much. I struggle to understand why God has taken so many people from me in my lifetime. I realize that people live and people die. I realize that during my entire life I will lose people. But seriously, I don't understand why, for about 12 year of my life, I had to lose one person every year. I am only 20, that is more than half of my life! Why God? That leaves no time for closure!
I recently took a trip down to Austin/San Antonio, Texas with my family. I have never had so much BBQ and Tex-Mex in my life. I never thought I would get sick of either, but by the time I got home I was ready to not eat either for a very long time. Which now that I think about it, it has been about a week and a half, and I haven't eaten either. If I think about it, I will post some pics of our trip later.
It is time I must go! I will try to be better at posting, but no promises!
I and Love and You,
Diana
I must be honest for a minute. Although I have no doubts of where my aunt is and how much fun she is having, I must admit that her death emplodes a part of me I don't fancy much. I struggle to understand why God has taken so many people from me in my lifetime. I realize that people live and people die. I realize that during my entire life I will lose people. But seriously, I don't understand why, for about 12 year of my life, I had to lose one person every year. I am only 20, that is more than half of my life! Why God? That leaves no time for closure!
I recently took a trip down to Austin/San Antonio, Texas with my family. I have never had so much BBQ and Tex-Mex in my life. I never thought I would get sick of either, but by the time I got home I was ready to not eat either for a very long time. Which now that I think about it, it has been about a week and a half, and I haven't eaten either. If I think about it, I will post some pics of our trip later.
It is time I must go! I will try to be better at posting, but no promises!
I and Love and You,
Diana
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Lord Please Be With Aunt Bonnie
I have not written a single word on this blog in a very long time! I have not had the time, but when something in your family happens like happend last night, you make time and fast!
Last night my Aunt Bonnie was rushed to the hospital with a brain anuerysm! She was then airlifted to Northwestern in the city! Please everyone, pray for my aunt!!!
My grandma just shared with me that she just got back from having an angiogram done and they are waiting for the results. She will be having surgery later in the day! Please pray for wisdom and skilled hands in the surgeon!
I am going back to a prayer that I posted a few months ago and changing it to fit the situation. Please everyone, pray with me!
"Lord, I thank you that you are in control, no matter what happens. I trust that you are holding my aunt in the palm of your hand, today and always and that you will never let her go. Amen."
Please pray!
I and Love and You,
Diana
Last night my Aunt Bonnie was rushed to the hospital with a brain anuerysm! She was then airlifted to Northwestern in the city! Please everyone, pray for my aunt!!!
My grandma just shared with me that she just got back from having an angiogram done and they are waiting for the results. She will be having surgery later in the day! Please pray for wisdom and skilled hands in the surgeon!
I am going back to a prayer that I posted a few months ago and changing it to fit the situation. Please everyone, pray with me!
"Lord, I thank you that you are in control, no matter what happens. I trust that you are holding my aunt in the palm of your hand, today and always and that you will never let her go. Amen."
Please pray!
I and Love and You,
Diana
Saturday, March 13, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!
Oh my gosh....I was just looking at my blog and realized I have been so caught up in getting all of my school work and such done that I forgot to blog on a couple of very special days.
The first is March 2nd. On that day it had been 11 years since my grandpa passed away. I miss him very much! And I can't wait until the day that I will be able to see him again!
The second day is March 3rd. Officially on this day, my old man became an old man! HAHA! I called him at like 5 after midnight and said HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY, your offically old! He responded telling me that he wasn't old until 12:57am or 47, something like that, and I told him, ok, I will be thinking of you in that minutes and how old you have become. Anyways, March 3rd was my dad's birthday and I would like to wish him a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I can't wait to hear from him very soon on how his birthday present was. (I stayed home with my brother and sister as a present to my parents so they could go on vacation to celebrate their birthdays!)
I feel bad that I missed them, but here they are so everyone knows that those day really do mean alot to me!
I and Love and You
Diana
The first is March 2nd. On that day it had been 11 years since my grandpa passed away. I miss him very much! And I can't wait until the day that I will be able to see him again!
The second day is March 3rd. Officially on this day, my old man became an old man! HAHA! I called him at like 5 after midnight and said HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY, your offically old! He responded telling me that he wasn't old until 12:57am or 47, something like that, and I told him, ok, I will be thinking of you in that minutes and how old you have become. Anyways, March 3rd was my dad's birthday and I would like to wish him a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I can't wait to hear from him very soon on how his birthday present was. (I stayed home with my brother and sister as a present to my parents so they could go on vacation to celebrate their birthdays!)
I feel bad that I missed them, but here they are so everyone knows that those day really do mean alot to me!
I and Love and You
Diana
Relentless work...will I ever get a break?
So I wrote a whole long explanation of my week and how horrible it has been, and then it all got deleted somehow when I clicked pulish post! So I guess this adds to everything I have already been dealing with. Here goes the short version....
Kev has been sick most of the week, but had volleyball tryouts he had to attend. Jam has had a terrible week in the homework/tests department. Kev got me sick so now I feel horrible and I don't know how I am going to get all of my homework done by tomorrow! None of it is completed since I have been taking care of everyone else while my parents have been out of town. So much for a spring break, huh? Hopefully I can get my sick self in enough working order to get some stuff done. I can't wait to see my parents in another hour or so!!! It makes the day a whole lot better!!!
Ok, break over, time to get back to work!
I and Love and You,
Diana
Kev has been sick most of the week, but had volleyball tryouts he had to attend. Jam has had a terrible week in the homework/tests department. Kev got me sick so now I feel horrible and I don't know how I am going to get all of my homework done by tomorrow! None of it is completed since I have been taking care of everyone else while my parents have been out of town. So much for a spring break, huh? Hopefully I can get my sick self in enough working order to get some stuff done. I can't wait to see my parents in another hour or so!!! It makes the day a whole lot better!!!
Ok, break over, time to get back to work!
I and Love and You,
Diana
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Sometimes I wish that childhood would never end. Or I mean I wish it never ended. I guess it is a little too late in my life for that! The innocense of childhood is so alluring. Worries that are carried are not major in the sceme of things. But adulthood, there are so many stressors! And they never seem to go away. EVER! Don't you just wish you could snap your fingers and make all your worries disappear? I sure do! This coming week is going to be a rough one for me. I think that is what brings this to the forefront of my mind. Although, I have to say, there are some wonderful possibilities that come with being an adult. I am currently listening to music and the song "Life's A Dance" just came on! How appropriate!
There is this picture of my great-grandparents that always comes to mind. They were at the beach, I believe, and were so young. And although I dont know if they were just friends, dating, or married at the time, they look so in love. Even if they didn't know it (the picture did)! The picture is inspiring. It is a testment to true love! I guess it is even a lasting impression in its own right. When I was at lunch at the American Girl doll store with my mom and sister there was a box in the middle of the table. In this little box there were questions that you could draw out and ask one another. Well, right before our meal came my sister pulled out the question "Who in your family would you like to meet that you never have?" or something along those lines. Of course I came up with a quick answer to satisfy the need of an answer, but this question has stuck with me. It is such a hard one to answer! In doing my family history, I know alot about my family like where they came from and such, but there are also so many people that I would like to meet and question. I love knowing my family better than anyone else, but at times it frustrates me too, because I just don't comprehend, no matter how fascinating it is! Why did my great grandpa take the name of my grandma's birth father to his grave with him? Why did my grandma not want to fight her cancer? Why did my gg grandpa marry a woman that didn't want to allow his son to live with them? Why did you choose to come to America? Why did you have a child that you ignored? Or even simple ones like who is your father, who is your mother? An answer to that question would make my job so much easier! Unfortunely, asking these questions is never a possibilty. The only thing I can do is attempt to discover the answers to as many as I can. And leave as many answers behind about my life as I can!
I and Love and You,
Diana
There is this picture of my great-grandparents that always comes to mind. They were at the beach, I believe, and were so young. And although I dont know if they were just friends, dating, or married at the time, they look so in love. Even if they didn't know it (the picture did)! The picture is inspiring. It is a testment to true love! I guess it is even a lasting impression in its own right. When I was at lunch at the American Girl doll store with my mom and sister there was a box in the middle of the table. In this little box there were questions that you could draw out and ask one another. Well, right before our meal came my sister pulled out the question "Who in your family would you like to meet that you never have?" or something along those lines. Of course I came up with a quick answer to satisfy the need of an answer, but this question has stuck with me. It is such a hard one to answer! In doing my family history, I know alot about my family like where they came from and such, but there are also so many people that I would like to meet and question. I love knowing my family better than anyone else, but at times it frustrates me too, because I just don't comprehend, no matter how fascinating it is! Why did my great grandpa take the name of my grandma's birth father to his grave with him? Why did my grandma not want to fight her cancer? Why did my gg grandpa marry a woman that didn't want to allow his son to live with them? Why did you choose to come to America? Why did you have a child that you ignored? Or even simple ones like who is your father, who is your mother? An answer to that question would make my job so much easier! Unfortunely, asking these questions is never a possibilty. The only thing I can do is attempt to discover the answers to as many as I can. And leave as many answers behind about my life as I can!
I and Love and You,
Diana
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!
Ok...so this was supposed to be posted today (Feb. 15), but I have been busy all day so it didn't happen. So, here is today's post!
I feel like I am constantly starting my blog with "today is...". Of course this is extremely annoying to me. I think college and writing papers is starting to inhibit my creative writing skills. I always have numerous ideas floating around in my head, however they never seem to work out exactly as planned on paper. So here is my attempt at not saying "today is..." and putting together my thoughts onto paper...
Many moons ago on this very day (okay so maybe not so many) there was a baby girl that came into this world. She was given the name Nancy Sue Buttenbender. Several years later she got married and had three children (2 girls and a boy). A few years even later brings us to today, the day in which she was brought into the world.
This little girl happens to be my momma. And so today, on her birthday (a very monumental one at that) I would like to say a very big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my mom!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I LOVE YOU!!!
I hope everyone has (or had) a fantastic day...especial my mom on her birthday!
I and Love and You,
Diana
I feel like I am constantly starting my blog with "today is...". Of course this is extremely annoying to me. I think college and writing papers is starting to inhibit my creative writing skills. I always have numerous ideas floating around in my head, however they never seem to work out exactly as planned on paper. So here is my attempt at not saying "today is..." and putting together my thoughts onto paper...
Many moons ago on this very day (okay so maybe not so many) there was a baby girl that came into this world. She was given the name Nancy Sue Buttenbender. Several years later she got married and had three children (2 girls and a boy). A few years even later brings us to today, the day in which she was brought into the world.
This little girl happens to be my momma. And so today, on her birthday (a very monumental one at that) I would like to say a very big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my mom!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I LOVE YOU!!!
I hope everyone has (or had) a fantastic day...especial my mom on her birthday!
I and Love and You,
Diana
Monday, February 15, 2010
A Fun-Filled, Much Needed Break
I had a fantastic time at home this weekend. It served as a really nice break. I went home Thursday and drove straight to Jamie's birthday party at Rink Side which included glow in the dark mini golf. Then Friday my mom and I took Jamie and her best friend Sarah down to the American Girl Doll Store in Chicago. There we had lunch and my sister got to pick out her birthday present. It was soo much fun! Then Saturday my brother had a volleyball tourny, which was a qualifier for nationals. Unfortunately the didn't get a bid, but they fought hard. There coach wants to take them down to the club division of nationals anyways, so maybe if it all works out I will be lucky enough to go down and watch my brother and his team at nationals in Austin. Wouldn't that be a blast?! The day ended with Jamie's frustrating basketball game. But whether it was frustrating or not, it was still fun to watch her play. Sadly my brother got sick that night and we weren't able to make it to Sunday's volleyball games, but regardless it was a fun-filled weekend. Here are some pics of all of the festivities.
I and Love and You,
Diana
Thursday, February 11, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIE CLAIRE!!!
Today is an extra special day!!! Today is my little sister's golden birthday! She is super excited for today, which in turn makes me super excited. I am also grateful for the long weekend that I get to spend with her. I know I previously said I was not going to be able to miss my class, but I have discovered that tomorrow she has a day off. So, I am heading home today for her party and then I am going to miss my class tomorrow and take her on a birthday adventure downtown with my mom. It is going to be a good day! I love her very much!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIE CLAIRE! You're the best sister I could ever have!!!
I and Love and You,
Diana
P.S. I will try to post some pics of her birthday at the end of the weekend!
I and Love and You,
Diana
P.S. I will try to post some pics of her birthday at the end of the weekend!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A Lasting Impression...Gram
I think it is well known by now that I don't like snow! And of course what is it doing right now? Snowing. Actually no...that is an understatement...there is a blizzard going on outside of my window. Which is even worse than if it was just snowing. I just had to put that out there...although it has nothing to do with what I was planning on blogging about! So...this conversation ends here.
Here is a new beginning....
Here is a new beginning....
Have I ever mentioned that I don't like history? Well, if I haven't...I don't, I don't like history at all. But the strange thing is, if you relate history to my family, I LOVE it! I could rattle on and on for hours about my family history, telling story after story. I am so passionate about it! It is truly amazing what all is out there to be discovered. I was recently sent a photograph from the early 1900s that had every single person labeled on the back. Such a rare find! I am sharing about my passion for this because since the last post I have really been thinking about what I wrote. Lasting impressions. For whatever reason this topic has really pulled on my heart strings. So, I have decided that I am going to start to share every once in awhile (or every post, who knows) about the people who have made a lasting impression in my life. My grandpa is certainly not the only one!
Jean Clair Buttenbender. In my eyes the name is famous. I see it all the time, all over my house. You see, my grandma, Jean Clair Buttenbender had this habit of writing her name on everything just so no one would confuse it for their own. To this very day my grandma makes me laugh. All I have to do is pick up a pad of paper to jot down a quick note, because if you turn that pad of paper over, no doubt in big letters you will see...JEAN. haha. Apparently she didn't want anyone using her pad of paper. However, this is not the only reason. My grandma was an artist and a fantastic one at that. I strive to be half the artist that she was, because even then I would be really good. Unfortunetly cancer took my grandma away from us too soon, 13 years ago. Wow....I can't believe it has been that long! But I still see her everyday! You see, two short years after my grandma passed away, God gave a gift to my family. He gave us my sister (and she wont ever let us forget it). Before my sister was ever born my parents had decided that they were going to name her in honor of my grandma. Little did they know that when she got here she was going to look like my grandma too, down to the little kinck in her ear! Jamie Claire has been a blessing to my family and a reminder of my grandma everyday! I just wish that she could have met her! I also wish my grandma was still here so that I could tell her that I found her birth family. I wish she could be here to see all that I am discovering! She too left a lasting impression!!!
Gram during her modeling days
Gram and Papa on their wedding day
Gotta love those '70s
My Gram and Me
Gram, Kev, and me on Thanksgiving
One and a half months before she died
I and Love and You,
Diana
Friday, February 5, 2010
A Lasting Impression
I often sit here pondering what to write about. It isn't always the easiest thing to come up with subject after subject for blog entries. But the bigger problem...the thing that always catches me, is that I don't want to write about nonsense. I want to write something that someone will read and go...wow she's right, I never thought about it that way before. I want to write something that means something to someone. My whole life writing has been a passion of mine (ask my mom...she'll tell you, I was writing stories by the age of 3), whether it be my thoughts, a story, a poem...but I guess at some point you want someone to come up to you and tell you that what you had to say really affected them. Or that you spoke words that they just couldn't say themselves. I live for that moment, I write for THAT moment! And thus I sit here, not really sure what profound thing I might be able to say. But I cannot let stop me, I have to write, I write in hopes that maybe one day that will happen. So, I choose to write about the things that matter to me most...namely my family.
I think it is this same concept that drives my love of genealogy. I search, file through documents, stare at pictures, piece together broken information in hopes that it not only will help in discovering who I am and where I came from, but also to be able to tell a story. To let those before me make a difference in the lives of those still living. Isn't that how it has always been in history? The greatest artists, writers and so fourth were never truly the greatest until after they died. They became the greatest by leaving a lasting impression. A lasting impression like my grandpa has left in my life. On March 2nd of this year it will be 11 years since he died. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I can't believe that it has already been a decade plus that he has been gone. But I also know that there hasn't been a day since that he doesn't go through my mind in some capacity. He left a lasting impression! My brother was only 5 years old when he died, but if you look at the man that my brother is becoming, you can see my grandpa. In those 5 short years, he impacted the person that my brother will always be. He left a lasting impression! I know that there are plenty more people that he left a lasting impression on, and I know that there will continue to be people that he will leaving a lasting impression on, because I will not let his story die. I will tell stories of my grandpa for the rest of my life. I will tell of the incredible man of God that he was and the incredible love that I still feel from him to this very day! He made a lasting impression!
All in all, I guess my words of advice for today is to leave a lasting impression! Live your life so that those after you will look back and be amazed! So that they will look back and want to do nothing more, but let your story live on. Everyone has greatness inside them, find yours, and leave a lasting impression!
My grandpa in WWII
My grandpa
My grandpa with my brother and me (the year before he died I believe)
I and Love and You,
Diana
P.S. It wouldn't let me create paragraphs in the post...I dont know why...sorry!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
It's My (Half) BIRTHDAY!!!!
I am going to start with a statement that seems so obvious that it is stupid I am even metioning it....Today is February 2, 2010. Now this may seem like just a date, however this inparticular date has always had significance to me for it is my half birthday. Yeah, I know, I know...nobody cares about there half birthday, but I do. You see having a summer birthday during elementary school never allowed me to be able to bring in treats for my class or participate in any of the rest of the festivities that came with having your birthday during the school year, so we always celebrated my half birthday in school. That makes today a very good day. I realize that I am now in college, but I like to think that the same rules still apply.
Not only is today my half birthday, but it is Groundhog's Day as well. From what I understand there is a little confusion between a couple different groundhogs as to whether or not we have six more weeks of winter. Of course I am NOT hoping for that, because as we all know...I don't like winter!
Today's date also means that my mom's birthday is two weeks away and that my sister's is a week and a half away. Which reminds me....I still need to get their presents! I probably shouldn't forget that! I think my sister would kill me if I forgot! She has already tried to convince me to skip my classes the day after her birthday ( I only have one!) so that I can spend the day with her. Unfortunetly it would not be the smartest thing to do.
Now that I have rattled on and on about a date I would like to share something that occured this past weekend. This past weekend my family and I attended an Eagle Ceremony for one of the guys in my brother's Boy Scout Troop. In the world of Boy Scouts this is a very big deal. Not very many boys make it to the rank of Eagle. I forget the exact satistics. So this being said I would like to say Congradulations to Ian Heffron for achieveing the rank of Eagle Scout!
I think I am going to end this here because I can't think of anything else to say! I know it is pretty amazing coming from me, since I always have something to say, but right now I can't really think of anything. Oh wait I just did...haha! Keep my brother's volleyball team in your thoughts and prayers...they have Nationals coming up later in the month and it would be really awesome if they recieve a bid! Ok...now this is offically it!
I and Love and You,
Diana
P.S. Six Months til my 21st!!! Yeah!!!
Not only is today my half birthday, but it is Groundhog's Day as well. From what I understand there is a little confusion between a couple different groundhogs as to whether or not we have six more weeks of winter. Of course I am NOT hoping for that, because as we all know...I don't like winter!
Today's date also means that my mom's birthday is two weeks away and that my sister's is a week and a half away. Which reminds me....I still need to get their presents! I probably shouldn't forget that! I think my sister would kill me if I forgot! She has already tried to convince me to skip my classes the day after her birthday ( I only have one!) so that I can spend the day with her. Unfortunetly it would not be the smartest thing to do.
Now that I have rattled on and on about a date I would like to share something that occured this past weekend. This past weekend my family and I attended an Eagle Ceremony for one of the guys in my brother's Boy Scout Troop. In the world of Boy Scouts this is a very big deal. Not very many boys make it to the rank of Eagle. I forget the exact satistics. So this being said I would like to say Congradulations to Ian Heffron for achieveing the rank of Eagle Scout!
I think I am going to end this here because I can't think of anything else to say! I know it is pretty amazing coming from me, since I always have something to say, but right now I can't really think of anything. Oh wait I just did...haha! Keep my brother's volleyball team in your thoughts and prayers...they have Nationals coming up later in the month and it would be really awesome if they recieve a bid! Ok...now this is offically it!
I and Love and You,
Diana
P.S. Six Months til my 21st!!! Yeah!!!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Ugh...SNOW!
Let it be known that I do NOT like snow! I will admit that it is pretty when it is coming down, but as soon as it starts sticking to the ground I have a major problem with it! Now why do I bring this up? Well, today, it is snowing...and over the last hour or so it has decided to start sticking! It did this yesterday too...so I am not a very happy Diana today! Although the extra special cold that I have acquired could be playing a big role in the not happy Diana day as well! I have been doing nothing but sneezing or feeling like I am going to sneeze all day long...it has totally sucked! This weekend all the snow had melted and I was so very excited! Why does it have to snow and destroy the lovely sight of no snow? I don't quite understand.
Here is part of campus yesterday! Just imagine it with more snow...and that is today! Yuck!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone
I was reminded this past weekend that I really need to update my blog...and so, here I am!
I moved into Benedictine a week and a half ago and started classes last Tuesday. The last couple of day have been kind of weird becasue I know that everyone was headed back to Cornerstone and starting classes yet I was not there! I think it is going to take some getting used to. It really has made me realize how much I miss everyone. On Sunday a lot of people were on Facebook updating that they were back at school and although I am happy for them, I want to be able to see everyone too! Maybe I am just feeling it now more than ever before because I am still trying to make friends here. Everything is a process and I will get to the point that I am ok with everything; I am just not there yet. I am still learing to TRUST God completely and lean on Him, and transferring has definately forced the issue. At church on Sunday my pastor started a series entitled Jesus > (Jesus is Greater Than) and each week he puts something on the other side of that sign. For me, I just need to remember that Jesus is greater than any fear I may be having and that He will get me thru whatever I need. At the end of service they handed out wristbands that say "Jesus >"...and I have it sitting right next to me at my desk so that I can remember that!
On a lighter note, I really do enjoy being at Benedictine! And for those of you at Cornerstone, the food is ten times better, just saying! Feel free to come visit me anytime (I have an extra bed), just let me know ahead of time that you're coming! I am only about a half hour from downtown Chi and we could go hang down there as well.
As a final note you can see that I not only am updating my blog, I changed everything as well. I think it was about time since everything used to be Christmas and it is almost February! But I just wanted to mention the music. It is all Glee songs! I go the 2 soundtracks for Christmas and they have pretty much been the soundtrack to my life as of late, so I thought I would share a few of the songs! In case some of you don't know what I am talking about when I say Glee...I am talking about the TV show on FOX...it is freaking amazing!!! If you have never heard of it before, or even if you have, and you have never seen it, YOU NEED TO!!! The second season starts in April and you should watch it! The first season is all online...or if you come visit me, I have it on DVD and we can watch it!
I will try to be better about updating now that I am pretty much settled in at school!
I and Love and You,
Diana
I moved into Benedictine a week and a half ago and started classes last Tuesday. The last couple of day have been kind of weird becasue I know that everyone was headed back to Cornerstone and starting classes yet I was not there! I think it is going to take some getting used to. It really has made me realize how much I miss everyone. On Sunday a lot of people were on Facebook updating that they were back at school and although I am happy for them, I want to be able to see everyone too! Maybe I am just feeling it now more than ever before because I am still trying to make friends here. Everything is a process and I will get to the point that I am ok with everything; I am just not there yet. I am still learing to TRUST God completely and lean on Him, and transferring has definately forced the issue. At church on Sunday my pastor started a series entitled Jesus > (Jesus is Greater Than) and each week he puts something on the other side of that sign. For me, I just need to remember that Jesus is greater than any fear I may be having and that He will get me thru whatever I need. At the end of service they handed out wristbands that say "Jesus >"...and I have it sitting right next to me at my desk so that I can remember that!
On a lighter note, I really do enjoy being at Benedictine! And for those of you at Cornerstone, the food is ten times better, just saying! Feel free to come visit me anytime (I have an extra bed), just let me know ahead of time that you're coming! I am only about a half hour from downtown Chi and we could go hang down there as well.
As a final note you can see that I not only am updating my blog, I changed everything as well. I think it was about time since everything used to be Christmas and it is almost February! But I just wanted to mention the music. It is all Glee songs! I go the 2 soundtracks for Christmas and they have pretty much been the soundtrack to my life as of late, so I thought I would share a few of the songs! In case some of you don't know what I am talking about when I say Glee...I am talking about the TV show on FOX...it is freaking amazing!!! If you have never heard of it before, or even if you have, and you have never seen it, YOU NEED TO!!! The second season starts in April and you should watch it! The first season is all online...or if you come visit me, I have it on DVD and we can watch it!
I will try to be better about updating now that I am pretty much settled in at school!
I and Love and You,
Diana
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